Let’s see…Everett will be seven weeks on June 10 and things
are going well!!
Personal
Accomplishments of the Week:
On Friday I ran for the first time in almost 5
months. I went one mile at a 15 minute
pace (before pregnancy a nice comfortable pace would have been a ten minute
mile). It went so well I did two miles
on Sunday morning (at a 12 and a half minute mile pace) while Chad and Everett
happily slept at home.
 |
| My first run since January!! |
On Saturday I drove for the first time since
giving birth. Everett and I went
somewhere without Chad! We went to have
dinner at a friend’s house and it gave us so much confidence that we surprised
Chad at work the next day by visiting him.
I’m within 10 pounds of my pre-pregnancy
weight!! I’m not actively looking to
lose weight at all, (Hello Mister Bowl of Ice Cream after Dinner!) but I’ll
take it! I eat 3 good meals a day plus
dessert in the evenings and usually get in some sort of walk (or more recently
run) in. I make sure not to do a lot of
mindless snacking during the day, but even if I did have the urge to do so, it
would probably be more of a pain in the ass to get up and get it!!
 |
| Visiting Daddy at Work! |
Challenges:
Honestly, the further out we get, and the more we get to know
our little boy, the more comfortable we become with him, his personality, and the
decisions we are making. I’ve been
reading a blog/listening to a podcast called the Longest Shortest Time, which
is about some of the (more extreme) challenges of early parenthood. A lot of the mothers on the podcast had
challenging starts to life with their baby and ended up having to cope with
feelings of failure in a particular area of parenting (birth experience, breast
feeding, etc.). The podcast is
interesting, but I can’t relate to a lot of it, because while life now is extremely
challenging at times, the three of us are doing pretty damned good! Below are some of the challenges we have been
working to become more comfortable with:
Giving Up Control
In the past several weeks, I have found that I am generally happier when I stop having expectations. Much in the way that the labor experience was about giving up control of my body and working with it instead of against it, so too is that a good approach for parenting in the early days. I have given up expectations for how long it will take to complete a specific task, about getting all my sleep at night time in one uninterrupted stretch, or whether Everett “should” be asleep (not wide awake) at 4:30 in the morning. A week ago I was freaking out when we couldn’t get him to relax and go to sleep at 4:00 AM. But in this morning’s predawn light, when Everett looked at me with his slate colored eyes open as wide as could be, I got up, put him in a sling, and cleaned the kitchen. The walking around put him back to sleep and around 6:30 we crawled back into bed and went right back to sleep. Of course this doesn’t always work. Sometimes (okay a lot of times) the only thing that will make him happy is nursing, and he will scream if we try to put him in a sling. At those times, Chad and I forget about that walk we had planned to take, I put my feet up, and we nurse away. Everything takes forever and a lot of times Everett has different ideas than me about what we should be doing and I have to be okay with that – and when I am, everybody’s stress levels go down. On the positive side, Everett may have times of fussiness, but he very rarely screams and cries for prolonged periods. For me at least, with this particular baby, I know what he wants and how to quiet him. It may not always be “convenient” for me, but it beats the hell out of hours of screaming without knowing what he wants.
Being Publicly Confident with Our Parenting
Choices
Pretty much every person that you run into out in the world has ideas about what you should be doing. When we venture out in the world and come in contact with other humans, I have struggled with how other people might be perceiving our parenting choices. Everett, Chad, and I will spend days at home, feeling perfectly confident with our days and how we occupy them. Then we go out into the world and other people SEE us parenting. I wonder if they’re thinking “You feed him too much,” or “You should put him down more,” or whatever. Whatever other people’s opinions are though, my thoughts most likely aren’t going to change. I’m pretty confident with what we’re doing when it’s just the three of us, so I’m determined to become more comfortable with our choices out in the world.
Breastfeeding
Everett likes to breastfeed. A lot. It makes him happy and keeps him from screaming his brains out. Right now, I’m perfectly happy to do whatever it is that will keep him from crying, and in fact think it’s the right thing to do (and we’re sailing right along with it too – no issues here. I have fed him going up and down stairs, unloading the dishwasher, on the porch, sitting up, laying down, etc. etc.) I guess you could file this under the “Being Publicly Confident with Our Parenting Choices” category, because I don’t know if people think I feed him too much (constantly) or if they care that my breasts are always hanging out, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t care. It seems to make Everett pretty happy, and a happy Everett is a happy Mommy!! This isn’t a challenge per se, but just something funny about our new life breastfeeding. Last night Chad and I were watching Orange is the New Black (watch it!) and there was a scene where Jason Bateman’s character goes to visit his friend who is a new mother. When she opens the door, she’s holding the baby in one arm and her shirt is all pulled down so her nipple is showing, so he says “Um, your nipple is showing,” and the new mom friend replied “Oh god, yeah, I know, they’re ALWAYS showing.” Chad and I looked at each other and laughed because that scene was SO relatable. Breasts have lost all mystique to me in the past 7 weeks. They’re out and about. All the time. If you have spent more than 30 minutes with me, you have probably seen my nipples.
 |
| Constant feeding frenzy!! |
In years to come (or 7 weeks after giving birth), what I WON’T remember are the pains of labor. What I WILL remember are the pains of hemorrhoids. Labor was one day of my life and all the hard work resulted in the truly spectacular miracle of life. Hemorrhoids just hurt like a bitch, with no end in sight, and the result of hard work is significantly less miraculous.
Fear of Dropping the Baby
These days, when I see a flight of stairs, they represent the risk of me falling down them and dropping him. A coffee table is a tripping risk. A door that is ajar is a risk to his little head. Whenever I hand Everett to Chad, I say "Don't drop him!" or "Careful! Don't trip!" Poor Chad!! Sometimes I can't wait til he's bigger and less fragile, so I can worry less, but then I know he'll be mobile and I'll probably be even more terrified then!!
Things I’ve Stopped
Caring about:
1.) As I mentioned previously, display of my nipples.
2.) Getting peed on. I’ve quickly accepted this new fact of life and have chosen the “Whatever, I just put those shorts on, and besides they’re not THAT wet. I’m not changing those.”
What Everett Is Up To:
Everett spends a good portion of his time breastfeeding. When he’s awake, he’s most likely feeding. But there are times every day, probably an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, with little pockets thrown in here and there, where Everett just sits there looking around, happy as a clam. During those times we try to interact with him or “show him the world.” We go out on the porch and face him towards the street so he can see the sky, the trees, and people walking by. Or we face him towards us, so that we can drink in his huge slate eyes and connect with our alert little boy. His favorite place to be is cuddled up against Mommy or Daddy’s chest, which is where he spends 90% of his time. For at least a little bit each day during one of his quiet alertness periods, we put him down on the bed or on a blanket outside so that he can freely squirm around on his own.
He usually falls asleep between 8:00 and 10:00 PM and wakes up every three hours until 4:00 or 5:00 AM. Then he is wide awake, or waking every hour. Last night he slept until 3:00 and was up A LOT after that. It leaves me wondering if he’s having a growth spurt.
70% of the time he HATES having his diaper changed. I think it has less to do with him hating the actual process of diaper changing so much as it inhibits him from the activity he actually wants to be doing. If he’s well fed and totally happy, sometimes diaper change time goes uneventfully or with minimal whimpers.
For the most part, all three of us are falling into some sort of groove. As I mentioned before, that groove mostly involves lots of flexibility, lots of feeding, and a few moments to ourselves each day – even if it’s only the time it takes to shower. Incidentally, if you’re a new mom and you’re not finding the time to shower every day, PLEASE make the time! Hand the baby off to your husband before he goes to work, or WHATEVER. Just do it! I have read all these accounts of new mothers not finding the time to bathe or brush their hair – so I’ve made a point to make sure those things happen every day. Just taking 10 minutes to myself makes me more ready to handle the thousand tiny challenges each day has to offer!
1.) As I mentioned previously, display of my nipples.
2.) Getting peed on. I’ve quickly accepted this new fact of life and have chosen the “Whatever, I just put those shorts on, and besides they’re not THAT wet. I’m not changing those.”
What Everett Is Up To:
Everett spends a good portion of his time breastfeeding. When he’s awake, he’s most likely feeding. But there are times every day, probably an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, with little pockets thrown in here and there, where Everett just sits there looking around, happy as a clam. During those times we try to interact with him or “show him the world.” We go out on the porch and face him towards the street so he can see the sky, the trees, and people walking by. Or we face him towards us, so that we can drink in his huge slate eyes and connect with our alert little boy. His favorite place to be is cuddled up against Mommy or Daddy’s chest, which is where he spends 90% of his time. For at least a little bit each day during one of his quiet alertness periods, we put him down on the bed or on a blanket outside so that he can freely squirm around on his own.
 |
| Quiet alertness - our favorite times |
70% of the time he HATES having his diaper changed. I think it has less to do with him hating the actual process of diaper changing so much as it inhibits him from the activity he actually wants to be doing. If he’s well fed and totally happy, sometimes diaper change time goes uneventfully or with minimal whimpers.
 |
| Daddy getting his snuggle on! |
 |
| Our first family vacation to Geneva on the Lake State Park
Top Left: Around the campfire
Bottom Left: Me and Everett on the deck of our cabin
Right: Me and Everett at Markko Vinyard
|
 |
| Vacation!
Top Left: Dinner on the deck
Top Right: Chad eating cake on his 30th birthday
Bottom: Daddy and Everett photographing the sunset on Lake Erie
|
Media I’ve Been
Ingesting
Podcasts/Blogs/Radioshows
The Longest Shortest Time, parenting blog / podcast
Birth without Fear Blog, a website compilation of birth stories. And I’ve read all the birth stories!!
Radiolab, science podcast (Saturdays on NPR). This week’s was good – it had a story about newborns’ perceptions of the world.
The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd – pretty good/easy read which is a coming of age/Civil Rights era story with some bees thrown in.Run Like a Mother: How to Get Moving, and Not Lose Your Family, Job, or Sanity, by Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea – good book about the basics of running with the motherhood angle thrown in. Of course I enjoyed and identified with the chapter about postpartum running.
Turn Here, Sweet Corn, by Atina Diffley – Chad reads this to me and Everett as our bedtime story. Per the University of Minnesota Press website “a master class in organic farming a lesson in entrepreneurship, a love story, and a legal thriller.” We saw the author speak at the OEFFA conference this year – she was inspiring so we bought her book.
Television
Game of Thrones – HBO, man that show is
intense. And complicated.
Orange is the New Black –season 2 is out
on Netflix. Yay!
