Little Everett Alan turned 3 weeks old on Tuesday and a LOT
has happened…one thing that hasn’t happened yet is his due date! That’s not for another three days (May
18). These beginning weeks of his life
have been marked very much by juxtaposition.
I feel like the same person I was before, but at the same time have
grown so much. Mothering has felt very
natural and easy to me, but is not without a steep learning curve and moments
of exasperation, frustration, and even a couple panicky moments as well. The most striking revelation about becoming a
mother is the very clear feeling that despite the newness of everything, there
is no other way. Everett Alan has joined
our life and it is unimaginable to envision a picture without him in it.
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| SO fortunate to have this little guy lighting up our lives |
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| We love him |
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| The first month has been all about relaxing together skin to skin. Wouldn't trade it for anything! |
THE FIRST WEEK WAS THE HARDEST
Still in the hospital, after the birth I felt so elated at
having successfully given birth to a new little human in the way I did, and I
felt proud and accomplished. Mission
complete! Right!? It wasn’t long before I started to realize
that instead of the mission being complete, it was indeed only just
beginning. I have never in my life felt
in such utter need of recovery while at the same time needing to learn and
accomplish so much.
Breastfeeding
Breast feeding was HARD – the nurses told us that late
pre-term babies often have a more difficult time getting the hang of breast
feeding – every time he went to breast he fell asleep and apparently he didn’t have
a good latch besides. Not that I knew
what a good latch looked like! My
nipples started to hurt and get really sore and raw and I dreaded the feedings
that came every three hours, followed immediately by pumping which resulted in
nothing more than a drop or two of milk, if that. The pumping was to facilitate
my milk coming in in the absence of his ability to really pick up feeding right
away. I just sat there in the hospital
bed, enjoying holding him against my chest, looking at the clock and dreading
the next hour long round of feeding and pumping. After about three days, my milk came in and
my breasts were full, hard, knotted, and uncomfortable. Now instead of feeling fear of pumping with
no results, I was afraid of too much milk all bound up in my breasts. I never did get engorged breasts though, and
for that I fully and completely thank my mother, who helped me with breast
massage. She showed me how to loosen up
the initial milk and getting it flowing.
Without her help and support, I feel sure that my breasts would have
become engorged, as I had no idea what to do.
As for the latching issues, after about a week, we consulted the La
Leche League’s The Womanly Art of
Breastfeeding to get some tips about how to help him to latch better. A week of frustration, and sore, raw, scabbed
nipples melted away in about two days, as I learned how to facilitate a better
latch in him.
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| I worked hard to pump this paltry amount of milk right when it first started coming in. |
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| Milk drunk!! |
Recovery
I have never felt at once not sick, but at the same time so
remarkably and completely drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Getting up to pee was a monumental task, as
was showering, which I could have never done alone in the first several days.
The apex of my exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed
came on the Friday we went to the first doctor’s visit (three days after birth). I had planned to shower and brush my hair
before the 9:00 AM appointment, but that definitely did not happen. I did
manage to get a dress on, and riding in the car on the way to the appointment I
felt proud for getting clothes on and getting out of the house. But once we got to the office, I saw other
mothers with young babies who had brushed their hair and were wearing JEANS
(looking back, they were probably 2-3 weeks post-partum, not 2-3 days), and the
nurse who took us back to the room walked so fast, and I felt so slow and
unable to keep up. When we got to the
room we had to undress Everett and of course he didn’t like that and started
crying. I started seeping silent tears
right along with him, feeling slow, vulnerable, helpless, and overwhelmed. In my mind, I could see the situation from
the outside and knew that nothing was wrong – nothing that a lot of sleep and
rest couldn’t fix. I quickly recovered
and the rest of the appointment and day went well, with me focusing on napping
and resting.
For the first 7 days post-partum, I felt super, super
exhausted and could just only muster the strength to shower in the
mornings. That was my big activity of
the day, before I parked myself on the sofa until it was time to go upstairs in
the evening for bed. Again, physically I
did not feel sick, but just consumed by an overwhelming tiredness (not to
mention extreme soreness where I had gotten stitches). It was difficult, but for the first 7-10
days, I had to accept that I could not physically do anything outside of care
for my baby who mostly slept on my chest, only waking for feedings. Around day 6 or 7, I started to get up and
change Everett, or go to the fridge myself to fix breakfast. Sometimes I would wonder if I wasn’t just
being lazy or if I really needed to spend as much time on the sofa as I was,
but then I would remember the kind of person I normally am. The kind of person who gets up at 5:30AM
before work to train for marathons (on Saturdays even!) is not the kind of
person to waste the day away on the sofa if it wasn’t needed. I had to trust that my body would tell me
when I was able to do more. Gradually,
by two weeks post-partum, I was ready for a walk around the block (and then
back to bed!), or a trip to my mother-in-law’s house for dinner (on the
sofa!).
Now, at three weeks and some change post-partum, I feel
60-70% recovered, and we plan our activities accordingly. The morning is for waking up, feeding,
showering, and eating breakfast. By noon
we are usually out of bed, showered, and ready to go. Afternoons are for one activity (a friend
coming by to visit, a trip to Jeni’s, figuring out some forms that need to be filled
out) and a walk. By around 5:00 or 6:00,
it’s time to start thinking about dinner, which takes a while to put together,
and then around 7:00, we eat and have relaxation time in which we might watch a
movie.
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| Naked baby airing in the sun! |
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| We're still working on mobile interest |
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M
DOING!
Motherhood has come with a steep learning curve and my
lexicon is filled with all sorts of words I barely knew existed before. I’ve been reading lots of books and local
motherhood forums, etc. and felt super proud when I was able to properly
diagnose Everett’s first little malady – thrush, or a yeast infection in his
mouth. On Sunday evening, I started to
notice some white patches in his mouth and I immediately thought “Oh shit, he’s
got thrush!” (Something I would have never known without prior research.) Monday I tried natural remedy of acidophilus
and yogurt in his mouth, but by Tuesday it seemed worse. So I called the doctor, explained the
symptoms to them, which they confirmed was indeed thrush, and by Tuesday
afternoon we had filled little Everett’s first prescription (boy, that didn’t
take long!) By Wednesday, his mouth was
looking much better!
For tomorrow’s doctor’s appointment, we had to research a
vaccination they’re recommending for Hepatitis B – for which we’ve made our
decision about. (The decision is a
private one that, after having done ample research, only Chad and I need to be
comfortable with.) The point is though,
who has ever heard of these things!?
Thrush! Hepatitis B
vaccines! Latching! Pumping!
Oh yes, that’s right: every
mother, or parent out there. Well, we’re
just getting our feet wet with all these decisions, and we think we’re doing a
pretty good job so far :)
SOME OF OUR FAVORITE
MOMENTS {written by Daddy}
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| Things we love: naked baby butt in the sun |
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| Things we love: just waking up in the morning |
One of the most amusing and simple ways we have enjoyed spending
much of our day is just watching Everett’s facial expressions haphazardly
change from one serious look to another. Sometimes he will be relatively calm
and not fussing, but have a very confused or angst-filled look on his face.
This will slowly melt into a look of near-sleeping intoxication, which will
melt into a slight grimace, a grunt, then ultimately resulting in a squirting
sound coming from his diaper. This is one of the funniest things we witness on
a daily basis!
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| "Geeze Mom and Dad! You just don't get it!" |
Another enjoyable part of our day is our daily walk, which is
usually through our neighborhood, or sometimes to a nearby park. We strap
Everett to one of our chests in our Moby Wrap, which usually puts him to sleep in
minutes. Over the last couple weeks, our walks are gradually getting longer and
longer as Mommy is healing and getting her strength back. We can’t wait until
we can take Everett to a metro park for a short hike, or to pick berries this
summer at a local U-pick farm, or to take him on his first camping trip, all of
which we are going to try and accomplish this summer.
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| Things we love: going for walks |
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| Things we love: more walks - a trip to OSU |
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| Things we love: bath time faces! |
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